


Ms. Lewis

by Draconly, Trystine



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Comedy, F/F, Science
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:48:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23912563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Draconly/pseuds/Draconly, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trystine/pseuds/Trystine
Summary: Lapidot AU based on the Canadian TV show "Mr. Young"Sixteen year-old Peridot Lewis graduated college nearly a decade ahead of schedule; Fearing she'd missed out on her chance to be a normal teenager, she returns to High School- This time as the science teacher.
Relationships: Amethyst/Pearl (Steven Universe), Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 35





	1. Ms. Young

Peridot looked out the car window, barely able to remain in her seat as excitement rushed through her veins, “It’s the first day of the school year, Pearl! I’m so excited- Um… What are you doing?”

Pearl pulled over to the side of the road, a few blocks away from their school, “I am not going to show up to school with my nerdy sister.”

“What? That’s ridiculous!”

“Hmm, nope. You get to walk.” Pearl looked at her sister with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“Fine,” Peridot spat. She forced the car door open, “Just wait until I get my own car.”

“And until then, you can walk.” Pearl sped off down the road the moment the car door was shut.

Reciting as many curses as her mind could fathom, Peridot practically ran the rest of the way. She was lucky to arrive with a few minutes to spare.

“I can’t be late on the first day! Why is Pearl such a clod!?” She ran into the building only to collide into another body.

“Hey! Watch it!”

“Sorry! I’m so- Amethyst Rocha?”

“Peridot Lewis?! Yo! Where have you been!?” Amethyst asked, pulling Peridot into a crushing hug, “You’re lucky you ran into me and not Jasper!”

“Who’s Jasper?” Peridot frowned at her friend.

“Well, imagine if Bigfoot and Godzilla had a baby. And then that baby fell into a tub of radioactive rage.”

“I didn’t even know they were dating.” Peridot grinned at her own joke.

Pearl chose that moment to walk past with her nose in the air, not caring about interrupting, “I see you made it here.” 

“Yeah, no thanks to you!”

“Woah… She’s pretty hot…” Amethyst watched Pearl walk away.

An incredulous look formed on Peridot’s face, “Ames, that’s my sister!”

“I’m just sayin’...”

The bell rang, signaling the students they had five minutes to get to class. Peridot and Amethyst started walking together, seemingly in the same direction.

“So, how come you’re here, Ms. Genius? Weren’t you nine when you left school? People were sayin’ you went to college.”

“I did,” Peridot stated matter-of-factly. She stepped into a classroom.

“Worked out real well, then. Here you are, back in High School,” Amethyst kept talking, failing to register the fact that Peridot was now writing on the chalkboard, “hell, you’re even in the same class as me.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Amethyst.” Peridot turned around and stood proudly in front of her name on the board; Ms. Lewis, “You’re in my class.”

Amethyst could only stare, mouth hanging open.

“If you could please take your seat.” Peridot waited patiently for Amethyst to do as she was told, “Thank you. Hello, class! My name is Ms. Lewis. Welcome to tenth-grade biology.”

When she was met with only blank, wide-eyed stares, she continued, “Now. I’ve personally always hated the syllabus, so I’m trusting you all to read it on your own. There will be a quiz on it tomorrow so don’t think you can get away with not reading it. Any questions?”

“You’re a kid,” a gruff voice came from the back of the class.

“Um. Yes. Good empirical observation. Any other questions before I take roll?” Peridot grabbed the seating chart off of her desk.

“How old are you?” The same voice asked again.

“Not super relevant, Miss,” Peridot glanced down at the chart, “Jasper Williams. Oh! You’re Jasper. Amethyst, you were right! I totally see bigfoot, especially with all of that hair.”

Amethyst gave Peridot a death glare while mouthing, “Shut up!”

Jasper stood abruptly before walking towards the front of the classroom.

Peridot took a step back from the approaching behemoth, “I’ll be seventeen in April.”

“Are you kidding?” Jasper spat, unimpressed, “You’re younger than me!” 

The entire class erupted into a cacophony of questions then, every student trying to speak over the rest.

Amethyst jumped to her friend’s aid, “Hey, hey! She’s a genius, alright? Kinda like Albert Frankenstein.”

“Albert Einstein.” Peridot corrected through gritted teeth.

“Whatever. The dude that made the monster out of dead bodies. Wait.” Amethyst grinned, “Can we do that!?”

“Scientifically speaking-”

“My nana lost her foot in a bread machine accident and she keeps it under the sink. It looks disgusting, but we are making a monster.”

“We’re not making a monster! Sit down, please!” Peridot inhaled deeply, “Look, it’s not a big deal. Okay? I skipped some grades, granted, and graduated in the spring with a double major in theoretical physics and molecular biology.”

“What kind of loser genius becomes a high school teacher?” Jasper scoffed from her perch in the back.

“I had other offers,” Peridot defended herself, “but I wanted a job where I could get kids excited about scien-” She stopped short when a spit wad hit her square in the forehead.

The class burst into a fit of laughter.

“Uh, see?” Peridot tried to talk over the laughter and regain control of her class, “We’re learning already. Speed, velocity...” She used a tissue to clean her forehead.

“Hey, Ames.” Jasper stood abruptly again, “Bigfoot!?”

“H-hey, chill, dude! I meant it in a flattering way!” The accused laughed nervously, putting her hands up as though surrendering.

“Oh, I’ll forgive you,” The taller girl sneered, “I guess from your height, everyone looks like a giant.”

Amethyst gasped, “Oh, you’re on.”

This ensued in an impromptu wrestling match in the middle of the classroom, with the rest of the students egging the two on, yelling insults and placing bets on who would emerge victorious from the brawl.

Through it all, the teacher tried her best at de-escalating the situation, but to no avail. Her gentle words and requests went unheard by the lively crowd.

“Class, that’s enough!” She was losing her patience now, finding it increasingly more difficult not to curse in front of her students, since it would definitively aggravate the situation, “I want everyone back in their seats by the time I count to ten!! One! Two!” She didn’t notice the door open behind her, but definitely noticed the students rush to their seats with panicked looks.

“Three! Okay.” Peridot grinned, “That’s more like it. Now let’s jump right into the world of biology.” She turned around to face the chalkboard again, only to run into a figure for the second time that morning.

“Gah!” She sputtered, taking a step back. One look was enough to piece the situation together, “Oh… Hi, Principal Quartz. Y-you look good today, is that a new dress…?”

“Can we talk in the hall?”

“O-of course.” Peridot did her best to hide her fear as she followed the principal out of the classroom.

“I told the school board it was a mistake to hire a child as a teacher. I will not let you turn this school into a circus.”

“I’m not going to turn this school into a circus. I promise that my only intent is to teach.”

“For your sake, I hope so.” Principal Quartz turned and walked off.

Peridot took a few deep breaths before stepping back into her classroom. She was pleasantly surprised to find the students still in their seats.

“Everything is fine. Don’t worry. Principal Quartz just wanted to know what kind of desserts I wanted for my welcome party. Heh.”

The door opened, and Peridot steeled her nerves to face the principal again. Instead, another student rushed in.

“I know I’m late!” She dropped her bag on an empty desk, “I was on the bus when a flock of-” She turned around, “Oh, great. The teacher isn’t even here.”

Peridot stared at the new student with eyes wide and enamored. Never, in her entire life, had she seen such a beautiful being.

“She’s right there,” a student spoke up.

“Where?” The girl looked at the front of the classroom skeptically, “Behind the kid?”

“It is the kid.” Jasper growled.

“Oh! Um, sorry I’m late, Ms. Lewis. I’m Lapis. Lapis Lazuli.”

“Did you know the ancient Egyptians saw lapis lazuli as the most beautiful gemstone? Looking at you, I would certainly have to agree.” Peridot winked. 

It was silent for a beat.

“Are you guys sure she’s the teacher?” Lapis looked around the class to only find nodding heads.

“Yes! We’re just learning-”

“How to make a monster!” Amethyst interrupted her.

“We’re not making a monster!” Peridot sighed, turning back to the blackboard, “We were about to learn about- Very funny. Who took all the chalk?”

Most students shrugged helplessly, but the answer quickly made itself known as the local bully, in a very unsubtle fashion, crushed the last piece of chalk in her hand, “Whoops.”

* * *

Peridot entered the nearest classroom, noticing the teacher had her back turned.

“Now,” Said the woman at the front, turning to the front with a bright smile, “Who has heard of the Crystal Rebellion?”

A chorus of groans erupted from the students, who all raised their hands simultaneously.

“Oh.”

Peridot took that chance to approach her, as she seemed to be pondering something, “Um…”

“Oh! Hello, there! Did you have a question?”

“Uh, no. Mrs. Opal, right? I came to borrow some-”

The woman squinted at her, “Why aren’t you in your seat, then?”

"You see, ma'am, I'm also a teacher; I'm Ms. Lewis, I teach science." She explained nervously, extending a hand to her co-worker.

Opal didn't buy it for a second, "Get back to your seat, Ms. Lewis."

The younger teacher went to protest, but at the silent glare she was receiving, she settled for a meek: “Yes, ma’am.”

“Now, where were we? Right. The Crystal Rebellion…”

From the side, Pearl eyed her suspiciously. 

“What are you doing here?” She whispered, although her tone was so aggressive that Peridot wouldn’t be surprised if the kids in her own class heard it.

“Apparently, learning about the Crystal Rebellion.” She deadpanned, “And you?”

An eye-roll was her only reply. 

“Anyway, pass this over to you-know-who.” Pearl said, depositing a neatly folded piece of paper on her younger sister’s desk. Thanks to the not-so-subtle tilts of the head and lovesick looks, Peridot was able to pinpoint the target.

Another student, it seemed, dressed in clothes that nearly pushed at the school restrictions. A curvy build and thick long hair; Peridot could see why her sibling liked her.

Under the right circumstances, she might have considered helping her sister out in the, possibly pointless, endeavor; However, she still vividly remembered the stunt she had pulled earlier that day, and she wasn’t feeling very merciful after the way her first class was going.

So she picked a different person.

This person in particular seemed to be the exact opposite of what Pearl was going for: Lanky, awkward, and quite possibly wearing braces.

When the note landed in front of her, she read the fancy handwriting quickly before arriving at the loopy signature. She then stole a furtive glance at the author, before shrinking back into her seat, blushing.

Pearl threw her sister a betrayed glance.

“Why did you do that!?” She mouthed, seeming genuinely upset.

“Payback.” Peridot whispered back. 

Suddenly, soft music began playing from across the room.

When she turned back to the front, she noticed that Opal was abandoning her position in the front in favor of leaning over her desk, to fish for her phone inside of her purse.

Taking the chance as it came, Peridot took off towards the blackboard, snatched the closest piece of chalk, and exited the class, heaving a sigh of relief as she could finally walk back to her own.

Upon placing a hand on the door to her classroom, she was dismayed to notice it wouldn’t budge. She tried turning it again and again, but to no avail; It was locked.

Without warning, the screen on the door lifted, revealing a smug Jasper, who dangled her keys in front of the glass mockingly.

She gasped, indignation bubbling up and adding to the frustrations of the day.

Peridot didn’t get much time to ponder on her misfortune, however, as she was once again pulled aside by Rose Quartz, though this time she was accompanied by Opal. 

“This student is claiming to be a teacher, Rose! Isn’t there a minimum age to work as a teacher here?”

Rose let out a long sigh, “Mrs. Opal, Ms. Lewis is a teacher, I introduced her in the staff meeting yesterday.”

“You did?”

“Yes. Please go back to your class now.” Rose spoke slowly, trying not to sound as drained as she felt.

Opal turned and opened a door directly behind her without a second thought.

“That’s a closet, Mrs. Opal.”

“Why are the lights off in my class!?”

Rose took a deep breath before fixing her gaze on Peridot, “You should be getting back to class too?”

“Right… Can I get a spare key though?”

“You don’t have your keys?”

“Well, actually-”

“Teachers get a master key that opens every door in the school. If you’ve lost that key, you’ll be the youngest teacher to ever get fired in this school.”

“L-lost it?” Peridot scoffed, “Pfft. I’m just using it to explain how… atoms… work.” She prayed Rose would buy the lie.

“Fine.” Rose took her cell phone out, “I’ll call Barb, the janitor.”

“Right here, boss!” Barb appeared next to the pair as if stepping out of thin air.

Peridot and Rose jumped and let out small screams of shock.

“Where did you come from!?” Peridot looked around the empty halls.

“Well, I drove my car here this morning.” Barb laughed.

“Barb, please let Ms. Lewis back into her classroom.” Rose walked away without another word.

Peridot groaned internally. It seemed Rose hadn’t believed her lie.

“Come on, kid! I’ll let you back in.”

Peridot walked next to the janitor, “Thank you. I appreciate you doing this. Is Barb short for anything?”

“Barbeque. Yup! My dad was a master of the grill.”

“O-Oh…?”

“Anyway! Next time you get locked out, there’s an easy way to get back in. I’ll show ya.” Barb pulled a bobby pin from her hair before crouching in front of the door. “So first you gotta bend the pin into this shape… then you stick it in at an angle… listen for those pins… and… boom! Unlocked door.”

Peridot had to glance around the halls again, wanting to be sure she wasn’t the only one who had just witnessed that, “Um, thank you… Barb…?”

The janitor was gone, not a trace of her left behind.

“Okay…” Peridot was a little weirded out, if she was being honest. But she had a class to teach. She hurried inside her classroom, shutting the door without so much as looking at her students.

“Very funny, class,” She chuckled humorlessly, “I get it, really. Pranking the new teacher and all, but I’m gonna need that key-”

She was faced with the sight of an empty classroom. 

At this point, Peridot wasn’t even surprised by it, just disappointed. Mostly in herself.

She was so fired. 

How was she even going to explain this to her family? It wasn’t like they had believed in her, in the first place, but still-

A knock at the door interrupted her increasingly depressing train of thought.

Opening the door revealed- “Lapis! You came back!”

The other girl simply walked past her, making a beeline for her seat, “I just forgot my bag.”

Peridot's heart dropped.

A stern voice startled the both of them, “No running in the hallways! And you, put that down right now!”

Lapis went pale, diving to her seat, this time to use it. “It’s the principal.”

Not a second after she said this, Peridot noticed the woman stopping in place to stare at her across the hallway.

She immediately launched into the explanation she had rehearsed endlessly for that day.

“Atoms make up the very fabric of everything we see around us. Nothing could exist without them. To say they are the very fabric of our reality is a vast understatement. Does anyone know what makes up atoms?” 

Peridot put on her most convincing act, and though her hands were shaking around the piece of chalk she held in a grip, the principal seemed to buy it so far.

Lapis bit her lip, as though trying to contain laughter, but played along nonetheless. One raised hand was the only cue that the teacher needed to proceed. 

“Ms. Lazuli?”

“Protons, electrons, and neutrons.” She said, without so much as flinching. 

To say that Peridot was impressed would have been the understatement of the year, “Very good!”

Peridot continued the pretend lesson, feeling Rose’s eyes drilling a hole into her skull from where she stood in the school hallway.

“Now, does somebody know why those protons, electrons, and neutrons would be important?”

Lapis raised her hand again, thinking the same stunt would cut it.

Rookie mistake, but Peridot would let that slide.

“Now, now, Ms. Lazuli, you always answer,” She waved her off, receiving an incredulous look in return, “You’ve got to give the others a chance, too.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed the principal’s surprised look. Huh, that was interesting. She made a mental note of it, and focused back on the classroom.

From the side, Lapis was making wide, frantic gestures and mouthing “What are you doing?”

No faith whatsoever, huh? It didn’t matter. She’d pull the whole stunt by herself if she had to. 

“Let’s see... Jasper? Can you tell us the answer?” Peridot asked, making a big show of letting her eyes wander through the classroom before landing on the seat she’d seen the absentee occupy. She threw a purposeful glance at Lapis and back. 

The only remaining student only dignified her with one last disbelieving glance before she emitted the gruffest voice she could muster. 

“Bah, who cares?” She scoffed, sounding every bit like a smoker in her forties. A roll of the eyes complemented the act. 

The principal frowned in disgust, but seemed to accept the poorly acted performance as she finally walked away from the classroom, launching into another lecture, “I said, put it down!”

Both girls slumped with identical sighs of relief, as though the weight of the world had been lifted off of them. It certainly felt like it. 

As soon as they’d caught their breath, however, the two broke out in silent laughter, both shaking with mirth, but unwilling to alert any of the neighboring classes of what they had just achieved. 

“That was great,” Peridot complimented her, “I loved the way-”

She didn’t get to finish, for the bell rang exactly in that moment.

Lapis immediately ran for the exit, “Bye!”

“Oh, guess class is dismissed.”

* * *

“Hey,” Peridot spat, approaching her supposed... friend? Former classmate? Student? Whatever, she’d figure it out later, “Thanks for ditching my class.”

“Relax, P-dot,” She frowned at the nickname, but made no comment on it, “I just went home to get nana’s foot. We need it to make our monster, remember?”

Peridot pinched the bridge of her nose from under her glasses, “For the last time, Amethyst, we’re not making a monster! Focus, Ames. We’ve got to find my key before-”

A chorus of shrieks interrupted her, announcing the precise scenario she had wanted to prevent.

“Before Jasper sets loose all the dissection frogs from the biology lab inside the girl’s bathroom?” Amethyst added, ever so helpful.

The blonde could only watch in abject disgust how the slimy creatures flooded into the hallway, some on the floor and some stuck on the horrified female students responsible for the screaming.

From the corner of her eye, she noticed Pearl approaching the pink-haired student with renewed courage. Oh, the poor thing.

“Um, h-hi Sheena,” She stuttered in greeting, receiving only a polite nod in acknowledgement. Suddenly, however, she had her full attention. “I was wondering if…”

The other girl raised her hand, and Pearl reflexively trailed off, “Uh… Pearl Lewis, right?” When she received a nod in return, she continued, “There’s a frog stuck in your hair.”

The screech that ensued encompassed both horror and mortification; Peridot was sure everyone within a two-mile radius could tell, too.

* * *

Peridot pushed the cart down the school hall with a panic-filled sense of urgency, “Jasper must have hidden my keys in her locker.”

“Yeah. She’s too stupid to hide them in her car or somethin’.” Amethyst walked up to a locker with a large skull painted on the outside of it and tried the handle, “Welp! It’s locked.”

“I figured it would be. That’s why I brought this electromagnet.”

“Ha! Nerd.”

“Quiet!” Peridot hissed at the jab. She opened the case that contained said electromagnet, “We should be able to force the locker open with this. And by we, I mean me.”

“Yo! That’s dope!”

“Observe.” Peridot turned the magnet on with the flick of a switch. She held it out as she carefully approached Jasper’s locker.

Amethyst walked next to her friend? Teacher? Freacher? looking anxiously between the end of the magnet and the locker.

Without warning, Jasper’s locker swung open to reveal the contents within.

“Ah-ha!” Peridot exclaimed with pride in her voice.

“Nice!” Amethyst gave her freacher a thumbs up in approval.

Before Peridot had a chance to turn the electromagnet off the rest of the lockers on the row started to swing open. With a deafening screech, a few of the ones closest to the pair started to slide forward.

“Turn it off!” Peridot had to grip the end of the magnet to keep it from flying into the lockers, “Turn it off!!”

Amethyst quickly lunged over to the cart and flipped the switch, “I think it worked,” she said with a laugh and a snort.

“Of course it worked,” Peridot grumbled. She set the magnetic end back into the case, “Now let’s hurry and find my keys.”

The teens stepped up to the locker in unison and reached inside. Amethyst was the first to pull something out - a half-eaten sandwich.

“Oh, hell yeah! Peanut butter and jelly!” She took a large bite, much to Peridot’s disgust.

Distracted by her friend and student, Peridot almost didn’t notice what she pulled out of the locker, “Wha…? Ballet slippers? Does Jasper do ballet?”

“What do you two think you’re doing?”

The gruff voice from behind Peridot sent shivers down her spine.

“Yeah. I’m out.” Amethyst turned on her heel and ran off, abandoning her freacher yet again.

Peridot turned to look at the bully, her curiosity taking over her fear, “You do ballet?”

“No!” Jasper grabbed the ballet slippers out of the blonde’s hands, “It’s not like the reason I’m so angry all the time is because my burly stature means I’ll never be the princess in Swan Lake.” Her voice broke as she spoke, as if she was holding back tears.

Peridot pinched the bridge of her nose out of frustration, “Look. Jasper, I just need my keys back.”

“Okay.”

“Wait. Really?”

“Yeah. But you’ll have to rip them out of my cold dead hands,” Jasper looked momentarily proud of herself before the realization of the statement hit her, “Uh. Except my hands will be alive still and yours will be cold and dead,” she paused for a beat, looking slightly confused at her own words, “because I will make sure you don’t survive to see tomorrow. A-and it’s cold out.”

“Terrifying, Jasper,” Peridot deadpanned, “I get the point.”

“Good.” Jasper stomped away, tucking the ballet slippers under her shirt as she went.

“Well, that’s just great!” Peridot threw her hands in the air as she headed back to her classroom with Amethyst right behind her. As soon as she was inside the relative safety of the classroom, she began pacing in front of the chalkboard.

“What am I going to do!?”

“I dunno, Peridactyl,” Amethyst sat on one of the front tables before turning a bunsen burner on.

“If I tell Rose I lost my keys, I’ll lose my job! But I can’t fight a student either!”

“Quite the pickle you’re in, huh?” Amethyst produced a burrito from inside her bag. She held the food over the flames of the burner, “Do you have any hot sauce?”

“Will you please focus, I’m in trouble!”

“You always attract trouble,” Amethyst scoffed. She poked her burrito to see if it was warm.

“I don’t attract-” Peridot froze as realization hit her like a train, “Attract. That’s it!”

* * *

The school day had finally ended. Peridot calmly approached up to the circle of students that had gathered at the meeting place. 

Lapis ran up to stop her, “Ms. Lewis, are you crazy?”

“Lapis, please, outside of class you can call me Peridot.”

The girl nodded, “Okay. Peridot. Are you crazy!? You can’t fight her!”

“But I can’t run away either, I’m a teacher.”

“You’re a kid.”

“I’m both.” Peridot grinned at Lapis.

Without waiting for a response, she stepped into the circle of cheering teens, feeling her heartbeat settle into the same rhythm as their chants.

She was ready.

“Hey, Jasper,” She yelled, drawing the attention of her opponent, “You’ve got something that belongs to me.”

Jasper looked at Peridot with a shit-eating grin on her face, “Decided to show up, runt? Some genius you are.”

Peridot barely managed to duck under the fist that was thrown at her face. She quickly scurried around the brute, “Jasper, c’mon. We don’t need to fight. Just give me my keys back.”

“No,” Jasper laughed as she threw another punch. Missing again by a small margin.

“You leave me no choice then. Amethyst! Now!” Peridot quickly grabbed a metal lunch tray she had strategically placed earlier in the day off of the ground. She quickly threw it at Jasper.

Jasper caught it with ease, “What was this supposed to do?”

“Attract you.” Peridot grinned smugly.

“Wha…?” Before she had time to process, Jasper flew a few feet across the schoolyard to where Amethyst held the electromagnet. She was sandwiched between the magnet and tray.

Peridot brushed her pants off, “You see, everything has a positive and negative charge and opposite charges attract. You would have known that if you paid attention in my class. Now, my key.”

Jasper glared for a moment, but finally admitted defeat. She reached into her pocket and produced the key. 

Loud cheers burst from the crowd, the students impressed by the performance.

Lapis ran up to Peridot, “Ms. Le- Peridot! That was pretty amazing.”

Peridot looked at Lapis and felt heat rising in her cheeks, “I, um, well- Science rocks?”

“Science rocks,” Lapis laughed, a slight snort escaping, “I’m excited for your next class, Peri! See you tomorrow!” She waved as she ran towards the parking lot.

“Wow. Thanks.” Peridot stood frozen in place.

“So. Can you let me go now?” Jasper growled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Draconly: I've had this idea in the back of my head for awhile now. There's no one else I'd rather write it with. Hope you guys enjoy!
> 
> Trystine: When Dracon approached our writer group about this idea, I knew she was onto something good; Now, we've got this new collaborative project together to show for it. I hope you have as much fun reading it, as we did writing it!
> 
> We're both very excited about it, and we'd love to hear your thoughts on it!
> 
> As a little disclaimer though, we know it's not super realistic, but it's not meant to be; So please just enjoy the satirical comedy as it comes. This was based on a sitcom, after all.
> 
> Our plan is to upload on Wednesdays, so if you like it, do look forward to more content next week!


	2. Ms. Detention

* * *

Monday

* * *

“Alright, class, I hope you had a pleasant weekend, but let’s jump right back to where we left off.” Peridot ignored the groans coming from her students. “Elements! A step up from atoms. Today, I brought some examples to hopefully get you all a bit more excited about science.”

“Boo!” Jasper called from the back.

“Thank you for your input, Jasper. As always. For this first demonstration I need a volunteer. Lapis?” Peridot looked around the classroom hopefully.

“Lapis isn’t here.” Amethyst rolled her eyes. She would definitely have to give her freacher a lesson in subtlety. 

“Oh... Just work quietly then.” Peridot did her best to hide the defeat in her voice.

Rhodonite jumped up from her seat enthusiastically, “I’ll do it!”

“Alright. Here we have a balloon full of helium. I’m sure you all know this trick, but when you inhale the helium, it makes your voice sound higher.” Peridot held the balloon out to Rhodonite.

Rhodonite held the balloon up to her lips and inhaled deeply, “Woah! It’s kind of cold!”

“Ha! You sound like a squirrel.” Jasper pointed and laughed.

“Thank you, Jasper. I need another volunteer. How about... Amethyst?”

“Uh, no. I’m good.”

Peridot walked up to Amethyst’s desk and grabbed her shoulder. “C’mon,” her voice came out a bit more desperate than she wanted, “I promise I won’t kill you.”

Peridot grabbed another balloon from her desk, “Now this balloon is full of something called sulfur hexafluoride.”

“I thought you said you weren’t going to kill me.”

“I’m not, I promise. Just-” Peridot sighed softly, “Can any guess what this gas will do if inhaled?”

When met with silence, she continued, “I’ll give you a hint. It’s the _opposite_ of what helium does.”

Amethyst grabbed the balloon, “If this kills me, I’m suing you.” She took in a deep breath from the balloon, “Woah,” her voice was several octaves lower than normal. “This is so cool! I sound like a monster!”

“Enough with the monster-”

The classroom door opened, and Lapis walked in, looking more tired than usual. “Sorry I’m late. Again. I’m staying with my aunt in Oakridge and the walk is longer than I realized.”

“O-oakridge?” Peridot leaned on the table in front of her in an attempt to look cool. “I live in Oakridge. Isn’t that funny? It’s funny, isn’t it? Oakridge.”

Lapis stared at the teacher with a quizzical look.

“I-I mean the lesson. Lapis, we were just- There’s a vial on my desk-” Peridot turned around to face her desk only to find it empty. “Amethyst, where’s the vial?”

“What vial?” Amethyst shrugged innocently.

* * *

Not a minute after she stepped out into the hallway at the end of class, Peridot found herself pulled aside by none other than principal Rose, “Ms. Lewis.”

“Mrs. Quartz!” She blurted, startled, “What can I do for you?”

The tall woman looked as exhausted as always, as she smiled politely, “It’s nothing major, just wanted to let you know you’ve got detention.”

To say that Peridot was baffled would have been an understatement, “But- Why? “What did I do?” She sputtered. Mostly out of habit, her gaze turned to her companion, taking on an accusative edge, “ _Amethyst…_ ”

The other girl raised both of her arms, which until then had been hidden inside her pockets, as a sign of surrender, “I didn’t do it!”

The contents of her pocket chose that exact moment to clatter to the ground: A few vials filled with various substances. A beat of silence passed.

Rose sighed heavily, massaging her temples, “Look, Ms. Lewis…” She called again, succeeding in obtaining both teens’ attention, “You’re a teacher. You’re not going to _serve_ detention, just supervise it. For the week, at least.”

“Oh.” She muttered, before reality dawned on her, “Wait, this week? But I really have to go home early this week… Can’t I do it another time?

The moment her superior smiled thinly, Peridot knew it was a lost case, “Why of course, Ms. Lewis! Is there anything else you need? A raise? A promotion? Maybe a personal chef for your class?”

Amethyst whistled, “That last one doesn’t sound half-bad, Mrs. Q!” She turned to her stunned freacher, “We should absolutely take that one.”

She only received a brief glare, but that was enough to silence her for the time being.

“In any case, the only way you’re getting out of detention duty is if no one gets detention,” Added Rose, smiling in sympathy for the young teacher once she saw the hopeful look in her eyes, “But that’s never happened before.”

With one encouraging pat on her shoulder, Rose took her leave, stepping on Peridot’s hopes as she went.

* * *

“I can’t believe I’m stuck in detention.” Peridot was looking out the window of the second floor, watching the students leave school for the day. “Oh! There goes Lapis. Walking home alone.”

Amethyst poked her head out of the window. “She doesn’t look too upset.”

Down below, Principal Quartz smiled at Lapis as she passed. “Have a delightful day, Lapis.”

“Later, Mrs. Quartz!”

“Can’t you hear it in her voice?” Peridot sighed softly while pulling her head back into the classroom.

“She definitely had some sort of emotion in her voice… Anyway. Who has detention today?”

“Only one person. I could be walking Lapis home, but instead I’m stuck here.” Peridot grabbed the list from off of the desk.

“Who is it?”

“Who do you think?”

As if on cue, Jasper walked into the classroom looking very pleased with herself. After a quick glance around, “Oo! A window seat.” She made her way to her destination.

Peridot made a quick note that she had arrived.

Jasper sat down before opening her backpack and pulling out a Switch and a bag of chips. “Alright. Let’s see what turnip prices are today. Gotta pay off that bridge and get Tom Nook off of my back.”

“Jasper,” Peridot walked over the bully’s desk. “How exactly did you end up here?”

Jasper looked up with a mischievous grin, “I don’t know if you’re old enough for this yet, but, my mommy and daddy love each other very much. And sometime, grownups-”

“I don’t mean on this planet!” Peridot quickly interrupted. “I mean in detention.”

“Darn,” Amethyst lamented, sitting on a desk, “I wanted to hear what she had to say.”

Peridot shot her friend a look of disbelief, missing the sarcasm in the tone. When she was met with only a grin, she turned back to Jasper. “Back to detention. Why are you here?”

“Well,” Jasper started with a smirk, “this morning I managed to beat my personal high score of nerds shoved into a supply closet. Ask me how many.”

“How… many…” Peridot crossed her arms.

“Fifteen!”

“Woah! That’s three more than last time!” Amethyst whistled softly, impressed.

“Don’t condone this!” Peridot growled. “Jasper, just- just go back to what you were doing.”

“Like I was going to do anything else.” Jasper returned to her game.

“What are you gonna do, P-dot?”

“I just need to prevent Jasper from getting detention for the rest of the week…”

“Ha!” Jasper interjected. “Good luck with that.”

* * *

Tuesday

* * *

Jasper strolled into the school with a hop in her step and a smile. She had spent most of her night figuring out what order to shove the school’s nerds into the closet in order to fit more. Turning the corner, Jasper found the row of lockers normally occupied by her victims completely empty. 

“Hey,” She looked around with a frown, “Where are all my nerds?”

On the other side of the school, Peridot and Amethyst were in the former’s classroom keeping the nerds as far away as possible. They had lured the group in with the promise of building model rockets.

Peridot kept glancing nervously at the door, hoping Jasper wouldn’t get wise and come looking. She looked for Amethyst in the busy classroom, only slightly upset to find her frudent painting her rocket purple.

“Amethyst!” Peridot hissed, “You’re supposed to help me keep watch!”

“I’m watching! Occasionally… Are we really going to blow these up?” Amethyst held her model rocket up with pride.

“No! I can’t afford model rocket engines for everyone!”

“Well, what about just for me? I wanna see this baby blow up.”

The sound of the door opening caused all work to stop and everyone to look up. Peridot rushed towards the door, expecting the worst. When Lapis opened the door instead, she almost tripped over her feet in her attempt to stop.

As Lapis looked around the initial excitement in her face slowly faded. “I, um, must have gone to the wrong room.” She took a few steps back, “I thought the swim team was meeting here. I most definitely wasn’t wanting to make a model rocket… watch it overcome gravity… bye.” She turned on her heel and left the classroom.

Peridot stared at the door with figurative stars in her eyes, “Gravity…” 

* * *

Jasper was at a loss. She had already looked for her nerds in their usual hiding spots only to find them empty. She was on her second go around when principal Quartz walked up to her.

“Miss Williams,” Rose was suspicious of the uneventful morning so far and her voice didn’t conceal it, “What are you up to?”

“Would you believe,” Jasper paused to sigh dramatically, “absolutely nothing.”

She continued on to her next destination only to be presented with a glorious opportunity. Mrs. Opal was struggling to unlock the door to her classroom, trying every key on her overfilled keyring, while her bag sat on the floor next to her. If Jasper couldn’t bully her nerds, this was the next best thing.

She ran past, scooping the bag up as she did.

Mrs. Opal gasped loudly and pointed, “Thief!”

Rose quickly ran after the bully, “Jasper you’re getting detention for this!”

Peridot, just down the hallway, heard the principal yell. She threw her hands into the air dramatically, “No!”

“Well,” Amethyst patted her freacher on the back, “We tried.”

At the end of the school day, Jasper sat at the same window desk, this time looking through a magazine, “Huh. Who knew Portland had so many artisanal cheese shops. I love cheese...”

Peridot was looking out of the window again as the students left the school for the day. Spotting Lapis was easy enough, the bright blue hair hard to miss in a crowd. Hearing her usual farewell was nearly enough to shatter her heart. She sighed loudly.

“Sorry dude,” Amethyst opened a bag of chips, “This might just be your fate.”

“No. I’m not giving up that easily. There’s always tomorrow!” Peridot grinned, filled with renewed energy.

“Looks like we need another plan, then.”

* * *

Wednesday

* * *

To say Jasper was confused would be a severe understatement. At this point, her bafflement was beginning to mix with worry.

“Not today either, huh?” She frowned, “Did they all get sick?”

As she asked this, however, on the other side of the school sat the very group whose absence was starting to weigh on the bully. Once again lured by the very interests that made them targets in the first place.

“Your party enters a gloomy cave,” Peridot lowered her voice, gesturing wildly as she spun her tale. Her audience watched, rapt with interest, “And from the shadows, emerges… A beast!”

Right as she said this, the door of the science lab opened, startling a few of the people who were sitting close by; Lapis tripped into the room, and would have fallen to the floor were it not for the row of desks by the entrance.

As she regained her footing, the wide-eyed girl let out a nervous laugh, “This… this isn’t the girl’s locker room…”

Not a minute after, she fled.

Peridot rested her cheek on her hand, smiling dumbly as she stared after her. Until one of the people there knocked on the table to get her attention, that is.

A room full of expectant stares was the only cue she needed to sigh and continue narrating the quest, “It is unlike anything you’ve ever seen…”

Back in the hallway, Jasper sighed as well, left with no choice other than to walk away empty-handed.

Or so she thought, before spotting the ever-forgetful Mrs. Opal struggling to open her classroom door. Unwilling to let the opportunity pass her by, she grabbed the bag resting by her side and broke into a sprint.

In her wake, Amethyst chuckled while adjusting her wig. It had almost been too easy.

A painfully familiar voice interrupted her premature celebration, “Good morning, Mrs. Opal,” Said Rose Quartz, as she passed, pausing only to wave.

“Morning, Rose!” She answered, struggling to make her voice sound smoother.

The principal seemed to buy it, as she only kept walking without further comment.

Within a closet in the next hallway, a confused voice rang out, “Where’s the light switch?”

* * *

Now sitting in the cafeteria, Peridot smiled, almost tasting triumph, “We’ve gone halfway through the day and Jasper hasn’t gotten detention!”

Amethyst chuckled, raising her glass of juice, “Cheers to that.”

Feeling unusually bubbly and willing to put up with her friend’s antics, Peridot mirrored the action, “Cheers!”

Her pleasant mood lasted a grand total of five seconds. 

“What is this?” Jasper asked, squinting at the contents of her lunch tray.

Amethyst, still buzzing with cheer, answered, “Don’t worry dude, it’s just tofu.”

“Tofu?” She inquired with a chuckle, “Yeah, I’m not going to eat this.”

The known bully proceeded to dump the contents of the tray on the nearest, unsuspecting person, just as principal Rose entered the cafeteria.

Heaving a deep sigh, Mrs. Quartz pinched the bridge of her nose, “That’s another detention for you, Miss Williams.”

Peridot only let her face fall to the table, though deep inside she was crying out in despair.

Jasper slept away that afternoon, as her teacher and classmate sulked by the window.

* * *

Thursday

* * *

In the hallway where she last saw them, right in front of the closet where she’d regularly put them, Jasper set a vase filled with sunflowers. Attached to it flew a small “Get well soon” balloon, and next to it sat a small, bespectacled teddy bear with a meaningful card.

“It’s getting lonely in here,” Jasper growled, blinking faster than she needed to, “You better be back to full health as soon as possible or else.”

Once again, across the school, Peridot and Amethyst had gathered the group of nerds into the former’s classroom; this time with a few episodes of Dragon Ball Z. In the back of the classroom, her hair hidden under a hat, Lapis watched every scene with intensity.

After another day of repeating the necessary guises to keep Jasper at bay, which included buying a pizza for the bully’s lunch, the end of the school day was finally approaching with no detention.

Peridot was excitedly watching the time tick away on her phone in the classroom used for detention, “It’s two fifty-nine and Jasper doesn’t have detention! We did it!”

The two high fived just as the bell rang to end the school day.

“Go out there and find Lapis, P-dot!”

Just as Peridot turned to face the door, Jasper walked through it.

“Uh, Jasper, what are you doing here? You don’t have detention.” Peridot couldn’t decide if she was more confused or frustrated.

“Not yet.” Jasper set her bag a desk before opening it. She pulled out a few rolls of toilet paper before hanging out of the window. As soon as she spotted the principal, Jasper threw the rolls of toilet paper at her target.

Rose gasped in fright when the roll sailed over head, unravelling as it went. She turned around and quickly spotted Jasper hanging out of the window. “Miss Williams! Get yourself to detention.”

“I’m already here!” Jasper declared proudly.

From within the classroom, Peridot shouted out, “No!”

* * *

Friday

* * *

Jasper walked up to the set of lockers, her frown increasing when she noticed the untouched flowers. She tenderly placed a hand on one of the lockers and tried to maintain her composure. “Where are you guys? I almost miss you.”

Peridot had set up a Super Smash Bros tournament this time. It was getting heated, but she had to keep them occupied for several more minutes while Amethyst did her part. She was very curious about the student wearing a jacket with the hood up and sunglasses. Peridot wasn’t sure she had seen the student before but was extremely impressed with the way they dominated the competition.

Amethyst was walking as quickly as she could to the bathroom, wanting to get out of the wig and stuffy clothing. Luck, however, was not on her side as the real Mrs. Opal came down the hall from the opposite direction. 

Both women stopped and stared at each other, though Mrs. Opal’s face filled with horror.

“Not again.” Mrs. Opal took a small step back. “Not again!” She turned and ran down the hall without another word.

“Okay?” Amethyst wasn’t sure of what just happened. She would not think too hard about it either.

After more money spent on pizza to keep Jasper satisfied, the school day was coming to another end without a single detention inducing incident. 

Peridot was prepared this time. It was, after all her, her last chance to walk Lapis home from school. She waited for Jasper in the classroom, standing right in front of the window.

The door opened, right on time, and Jasper strolled in without a care in the world. “Happy Friday, Miss Pipsqueak.”

“Not today, Jasper.”

Right on cue, she heard Lapis exit the school, “Have a nice weekend, Mrs. Quartz!” She called, coming to a stop next to the principal.

“Thank you, Miss Lazuli, you too,” She returned, looking positively radiant.

“You look really happy, did something good happen?”

Rose giggled, a sound that Peridot was certain she hadn’t heard ever before coming from her stern, constantly stressed superior, “Well, since there’s no detention attendees today, I have extra time to spend with my family tonight. I can’t wait to call my son, he’ll be thrilled!”

Peridot wasn’t about to let Jasper ruin her boss’ rare good mood.

“That’s great! Hope you have a splendid night, Mrs. Quartz!”

A spike of panic hit Peridot. She would have to be quick if she wanted to catch up to Lapis, but if Jasper were left to her own devices, it could throw her entire plan off-track.

She would have to navigate the situation carefully.

Her opponent gave her a once-over, and had the gall to offer her a smirk, “I just came to warn you, it isn’t me you should be worried about.”

As if on cue, someone stomped their way outside of the school entrance, prompting a clamor from those already present.

“Rose!” Cried the instigator, who, against all guesses, was actually Opal.

This alone was enough to burst the principal’s illusion of bliss, judging by the return of her weary tone, “Is something the matter, Mrs. Opal?”

Peridot turned around to watch the scene unfold and felt her heart drop when she noticed that the infuriated teacher didn’t arrive by herself; Next to her stood Amethyst, head hung in shame. 

They briefly made eye contact, but she was quick to avert her line-of-sight back to the concrete floor when Opal’s voice raised again, “This student has caused my misfortune these past few days! She changed the nameplate in my classroom to a supply closet and frightened me with this!”

She then held up a silvery wig, nearly identical to her own hair, to which Amethyst winced.

Rose sighed, her plans for the evening now postponed, “Fine, I understand. I’ll have her serve detention for the day. Would that suffice?”

The wronged teacher nodded, satisfied with the outcome.

Peridot was about to move away from the window, when she noticed Jasper walk out the entrance door. When had she-?

Her train of thought cut off abruptly when she noticed Lapis, who had stopped to see the commotion, approach the bully.

“Jasper? I thought you’d be in detention.”

The taller girl shrugged, “Not today, it seems.”

“A minor change never killed anyone,” She returned, suddenly lighting up when an idea struck her, “Hey, I was about to go home, but since it’s Friday and all, wanna go play laser tag?”

A frown was her answer, “Laser tag?”

Lapis gasped, “You’ve never played it? Come on, we gotta fix this.”

“Oh, sure.”

Without another word, the two left together, in the same direction that Peridot would have gone, were she not stuck once again in detention duty.

She was about to collapse in the nearest desk to wallow in her despair, when the door opened.

Amethyst walked in, already armed with several bags of snacks, “I gotchu, P-dot.”

She couldn’t do much more than offer a thankful smile before succumbing to the call of her forlornness.

* * *

Peridot groaned when the bell rang, not even deeming it appropriate to lift her head from her desk to so much as acknowledge her students. It was Monday once again, and the past week had sent her mood spiraling to depths until then unknown.

To make matters worse, she heard Lapis come in and greet her classmates, unwittingly obliterating all of her teacher’s hopes that her living situation had somehow extended.

She finally raised her head, thinking it wise to start the class before the usual interruptions arose, only to come face to face with the indirect root of her misery: Lapis.

“O-oh, hello Miss Lazuli,” She stuttered, struggling to compose herself, “Didn’t see you standing there.”

“Hi…” The girl arched an eyebrow skeptically, but thankfully didn’t comment on her strange behavior, “I just wanted to ask if…” A blush lit up her cheeks, “If you’re still planning those morning events. You know, the games and the activities…”

Peridot stared blankly, “Huh?”

“Y-you know. The… nerdy stuff.”

“Oh.” She blurted, “ _Oh_ …”

Lapis glanced around her cautiously, but no one seemed to be paying much attention, “I happened to, uh, walk by maybe a few of times while they were going on and I was wondering if… If you’d consider letting me tag along?”

Peridot wasn’t blind or foolish. She prided herself on her observant skills, especially when it came to the most recent object of her attention. She had noticed Lapis’ interest, and her hesitation to join in with the likes of Blue Zircon, the Rutile twins and Rhodonite in the kind of activities that would turn her into a target much like those mentioned.

It still surprised her to see her taking the initiative.

The teacher smiled gently, “Sure.”

“Thanks, Miss Lewis!”

Peridot had thought she wouldn’t be able to make it through the morning with how things seemed to be going, but just one glance at the way Lapis’ face lit up in pleasant surprise was enough to make her believe she could take anything coming her way. She was ready.

Just as she thought this, a chorus of shrieks emerged from the back of the classroom.

She sighed in exasperation, but made her way to the source of the sound nonetheless. Duty called.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Draconly: I was the kid that was always in detention in school and it was never that fun.
> 
> Trystine: Can't relate, I was the calm kid in school, whoops.
> 
> This one took us a little longer to figure out, but it was definitely a fun one. Hope you enjoyed reading it, and we look forward to hearing what you thought of it in the comments!
> 
> See you next Wednesday!


End file.
